Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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