Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
