Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
