Your mouth is God's brothel.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
why is half of my head shaved?
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