Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
