Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
