He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sorry about my life...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize