Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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