He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
