Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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