after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
