We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize