Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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