Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
