i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
