Already got asked if we're dating
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
