all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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