This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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