Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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