so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
