dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
