dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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