You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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