it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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