Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize