So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
