Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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