like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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