No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
