Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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