forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
