Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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