If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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