Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
