omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Did you pee in the oven last night??
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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