Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
