We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
