that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
