this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.