wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.