And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
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I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.