Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

  (765): View more from Indiana

  call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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  (323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude (765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing http://tfl.nu/wjo2
  Replies (41) Good night (1633) Bad night (3176)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"

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  (302): He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!" http://tfl.nu/6j56
  Replies (34) Good night (1439) Bad night (4729)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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  (919): You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume. http://tfl.nu/gckc
  Replies (46) Good night (13216) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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  (303): i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed http://tfl.nu/xgm0
  Replies (43) Good night (1967) Bad night (14035)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing

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  (407): i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing http://tfl.nu/l66q
  Replies (17) Good night (5987) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

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  (407): HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN http://tfl.nu/nyld
  Replies (15) Good night (7057) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?

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  (330): Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home? http://tfl.nu/9062
  Replies (12) Good night (4138) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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  (605): This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired. http://tfl.nu/sykd
  Replies (1) Good night (2404) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"

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  (215): I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!" http://tfl.nu/0rpe
  Replies (19) Good night (2359) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth

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  (480): In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth http://tfl.nu/2qc1
  Replies (10) Good night (1371) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.

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  (540): I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking. http://tfl.nu/c4hu
  Replies (0) Good night (794) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.

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  (312): 2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits. http://tfl.nu/57o4
  Replies (8) Good night (806) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.

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  (540): His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me. http://tfl.nu/adz0
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Welcome to Philly.

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  (609): I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever. (215): Welcome to Philly. http://tfl.nu/1k71
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.

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  (713): walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain. http://tfl.nu/bj1a
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (223)

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