Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.

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  (509): am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast. http://tfl.nu/srmx
  Replies (15) Good night (1068) Bad night (612)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.

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  (763): The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled. http://tfl.nu/m5fs
  Replies (26) Good night (1046) Bad night (5090)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i hope so.

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  (252): woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night? (816): i hope so. http://tfl.nu/2flb
  Replies (18) Good night (5395) Bad night (1393)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."

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  (412): I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people." http://tfl.nu/j747
  Replies (13) Good night (1895) Bad night (4711)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.

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  (513): I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle. http://tfl.nu/7tfd
  Replies (15) Good night (4013) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?

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  (631): Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them? http://tfl.nu/t23p
  Replies (24) Good night (670) Bad night (5628)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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  (561): definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful? http://tfl.nu/v0si
  Replies (11) Good night (3350) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...

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  (507): She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart... http://tfl.nu/kgd9
  Replies (42) Good night (1014) Bad night (12351)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough

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  (514): btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough http://tfl.nu/7sph
  Replies (1) Good night (2406) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

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  (916): I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter. http://tfl.nu/a3e6
  Replies (4) Good night (1075) Bad night (2597)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.

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  (304): No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me. http://tfl.nu/xahh
  Replies (10) Good night (2382) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.

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  (507): So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver. http://tfl.nu/b2sj
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.

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  (970): Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/abxe
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...

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  (859): I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud... http://tfl.nu/ip6k
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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  (515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i
  Replies (6) Good night (1044) Bad night (312)

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