Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.

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(530): View more from California

Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

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(248): View more from Michigan

So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in

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(585): View more from New York

i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

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(310): View more from California

Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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(417): View more from Missouri

Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?

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(513): View more from Ohio

It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again

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(773): View more from Illinois

Why would you get kicked out?

(574): View more from Indiana

Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.

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