I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.