I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.