You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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