Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
