I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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