He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
