I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
