he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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