Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
