I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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