i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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