I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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