i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize