It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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