I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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