So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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