I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
