Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
