he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
