Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
