Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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