Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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