He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if i can run in heels then i can drive
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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