One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
