they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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