I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
