As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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