Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
